From my personal experience, I’ve discovered that those who were physically, verbally or emotionally abused have a hard time receiving kindness, comfort and love because we equated receiving to pain, torture and discomfort at a subconscious level and most likely closed off our hearts and ability to receive love fully because we made a belief that receiving hurts
Receiving =pain. love=pain
So the first step to healing is to be aware of this pattern and notice where you have closed yourself off from receiving love. Notice how much you allow yourself to receive love and kindness. Is there a certain threshold where you stop receiving because you believe (at a subconscious level) that you don’t deserve more than that. Then notice where you are still beating yourself up. Where you are unkind to yourself. Where you are critical towards yourself. This requires a lot of self awareness and self observation.
The next step is to go back in time and give that part of ourselves love, safety and nuturance and let that part of ourselves (the part that got stuck in that abusive timeline) know that we are safe now that it’s ok to receive now; that we don’t need to hurt anymore, torture ourselves anymore, punish ourselves anymore and that we are lovable as we are. We can slowly start to trust that it’s safe to open our hearts again to receive love, kindness, joy and happiness. First by giving kindness, love, joy and comfort to ourselves. Loving ourselves as we are. Accepting ourselves as we are. Letting that part know that we are enough as we are. This is a daily practice that will get stronger over time. Since you carried this pattern most likely since childhood, it’s important to continue this daily practice of being loving and kind towards yourself until it becomes second nature and the “new normal”
In addition to this daily practice allow yourself to receive kindness, love and joy from others and have the awareness to walk away from any situation less than kindness, love and joy. Learn to speak up for your needs and wants. Know that your needs are just as important as everyone else’s. Know and declare you deserve only kindness. Make the intention to surround yourself with only those that honor, respect and nurture you through kind action and words. You can create a mantra like, “I allow myself to receive only kindness, joy, comfort and happiness” or “I allow myself to receive the pleasurable and good things in life” “ I receive with pleasure” Allow yourself to receive more and more each day until you feel you can receive unlimitedly and in infinite ways.
Love= ease and grace. Love= feeling safe Receiving=pleasure
When we experience trauma, the pain and hurt become the norm that at a subconscious level we keep repeating this pain and hurt because it’s familiar, and we think there’s something wrong with us when we’re not feeling this pain. So it’s important to create a new “normal” by allowing and having the awareness to receive and feel more kindness, love and joy each day. Take baby steps each day by asking how you can be more kind to yourself, more loving towards yourself
More nurturing towards yourself until it becomes 2nd nature. When we shift from the inside out, our outer world will reflect that back to us. So be diligent until you see it reflected in your outer world.
If you have been thru severe trauma, please invest in yourself and work with a trauma specialist. Core Energetics/Radical aliveness and transformational NLP has been the most effective modality that I have found so far personally, but there is hakomi, family constellation, pranic psychotherapy and other modalities out there. Don’t give up until you find the one that works for you :)
you can also schedule a private session with me and we can start addressing and reprogramming these limiting beliefs and use sound Therapy to restore your body and psyche back to wholeness.
Here’s a great Qi gong exercise I found online to help bring more love and energy into your body.
In love and Kindness❤️
Angelic Sound Therapy